Naoki Higashida’s examination of his autistic world, its hopes and hazards; its joys and tears; its insights and confusions; Naoki sheds a profound and revelatory light on the autistic mind.
Required reading for autism workers and those interested in the area. Everyone really. These two books The Reason I Jump (which I blog about here) and Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8 by Naoki Higashida trans David Mitchell & Keiko Yoshida.
"“Why can’t I speak? How come I’m the only one who can’t do it? How I used to agonise over these questions as I watched the other kids doing all kinds of things effortlessly that I’d never be able to manage, not even if I spent my entire life trying.
Every time, I just wanted to break down and cry. I stuck with my regular primary school until fifth grade –age eleven –but it had become so physically and mentally exhausting by that point that I transferred to a school for children with special needs.
My feelings about the move were ambivalent, and remain so. In one sense, it felt like I was running away and, once there, it took me a whole four years before I found a path to my authentic self. On the other hand, until then I had never observed a class in a special needs context and I was surprised by the big differences between classes there and the education I had been used to. While I was conflicted about the ‘special needs’ label, the kindness I encountered from both teachers and students –unthinkable at my previous school –took the edge off my unhappiness. There, I was no longer a ‘problem case’ but just a regular student. Some students were more capable than me while others had more severe challenges, and for the first time I realised how many neuro-atypical children existed in the world.
The school for children with special needs afforded me the freedom to be what I was, but it became less a place to receive an education and more a place to think about my autism. Time passed without my really doing a great deal. The classes were, in theory, tailored to each student’s disability profile, but in practice the teachers had enough on their hands just handling the students’ routine requirements. Some students were ‘long termers’ who had been there since first grade, while others, like me, had transferred in from regular schools because it was thought they were better suited to a school designed for special needs.
Looking back, most of my classmates seemed to enjoy their days at school without any complaints, but I still wonder if they all believed that this was the place they truly belonged? That said, my new school was a place where neuroatypical students were at least free from bullying or ignorant tellings-off. The school taught me the importance of being able to accept assistance and of being respected and valued by others.
I learned that we all have a right to live as a human being should live, and that happiness is attainable whether we have a disability or not. I saw a future path leading first to a high school for students with special needs (to which my new school was attached) and then to a work-centre for people with disabilities. I resolved to increase the range of things I could do without assistance, to work at becoming as independent as possible and, to the best of my ability, to avoid inconveniencing others. I thought that any aspirations outside this future were unrealistic because I was now where I belonged. I consigned any memories of my previous primary school to ancient history.”
There’s more from the BBC on it being book of the week here. There’s recent (July 2017) article from David Mitchell in the Guardian talkingabout autism and his wish list.
And I have written previously about Naoki’s first published book here.