Dementia, end of life

I met C. this week. C has known me since I was born and is now double my age. Early symptoms of memory loss have appeared. C is facing the end of life with dignity and is adamant that life as a vegetable would be no life.


I can see how the case for dementia is more complex than for other end of life states.  This long form profile and essay takes you through the story of Debra Koosed.


Her Time | Debra Koosed was diagnosed with dementia at 65. That’s when she decided she no longer wanted to live. By Katie Englehart.  Long-form read 20 -30 mins in the California Sunday Magazine.

It recalls to me the beautiful and sad moments of seeing my friend Jane Bodie and her mother, suffering dementia, the artist Sue Dunkley at her retrospective exhibition. Small poem here.

Thoughts on a life well lived.

https://www.thendobetter.com/arts/2017/12/20/how-to-live-a-life-well-lived-bernie-de-koven

https://www.thendobetter.com/arts/2019/3/7/on-being-97-years-old

Thought on mortality and the medicalisation at old age.

https://www.thendobetter.com/blog/2018/8/16/mortality-how-to-die-well


Forty-Five Things I Learned in the Gulag | Shalamov

The Paris Review | Forty-Five Things I Learned in the Gulag. Varlam Shalamov claimed not to have learned anything from the Gulag except how to wheel a loaded barrow. But one of his fragmentary writings, dated 1961, tells us more.

Me: Very sobering reading.

1. The extreme fragility of human culture, civilization. A man becomes a beast in three weeks, given heavy labor, cold, hunger, and beatings.

2. The main means for depraving the soul is the cold. Presumably in Central Asian camps people held out longer, for it was warmer there.

3. I realized that friendship, comradeship, would never arise in really difficult, life-threatening conditions. Friendship arises in difficult but bearable conditions (in the hospital, but not at the pit face).

4. I realized that the feeling a man preserves longest is anger. There is only enough flesh on a hungry man for anger: everything else leaves him indifferent….

…15. I realized that one can live on anger.

16. I realized that one can live on indifference.

17. I understood why people do not live on hope—there isn’t any hope. Nor can they survive by means of free will—what free will is there? They live by instinct, a feeling of self-preservation, on the same basis as a tree, a stone, an animal….

More here.


Sandberg on grief and gratitude. Me on Love and turning 40.

My Play Yellow Gentlemen

Oprah on Gratitude

The current Arts blog, cross-over, the current Investing blog.  Cross fertilise, some thoughts on autism.  Discover what the arts/business mingle… (sign up for invites to the next event in the list below).

My Op-Ed in the Financial Times  (My Financial Times opinion article) about asking long-term questions surrounding sustainability and ESG.

Current highlights:

A thought on how to die well and Mortality

Some writing tips and thoughts from Zadie Smith

How to live a life, well lived. Thoughts from a dying man. On play and playing games.

A provoking read on how to raise a feminist child.

Some popular posts:  the commencement address;  by NassimTaleb (Black Swan author, risk management philosopher),  Neil Gaiman on making wonderful, fabulous, brilliant mistakes;  JK Rowling on the benefits of failure.  Charlie Munger on always inverting;  Sheryl Sandberg on grief, resilience and gratitude.

Buy my play, Yellow Gentlemen, (amazon link) - all profits to charity